Look what I just found! The 1st Day of Unleavened Bread this year is the same day as Easter Friday.

As if the WCGers/GICcies weren’t confused enough to begin with………

Johnston, not Garner. There was a post up on The Surprising God Blog, titled “Including young adults in the church”. Yes, it was your typical, creepy, let’s-suck-the-kiddies-in-early-before-they-can-think-for-themselves nutfubariness (look everybody Ted Johnston drove me to make up a new word) of “how to recruit youths into your closed high-demand religious group”.

Ah, I thought to myself, the WCG (soon to be the GIC, lest we forget) is letting its true colours peek through. Junior won’t be happy about that!

Sure enough, what do you know, today the post has been tanked. Methinks Teddy’s extra-curricular readings to the complete and utter exclusion of Teh Holey Babble may have finally gotten his knuckles rapped by Headquarters. Or by somebody high up enough in the pecking order, that they saw the post in question, and immediately went bugfuck.

“Teddy Johnston’s providing step-by-step written evidence of how we recruit vulnerable and at-risk youth! Better get it down from the intertubes quick, or heads will roll! What will Hank Hanegraaf think?! Oh noooooezzzzz….!!!”

Got an explanation for us Teddy?

This weekend I attended the SCALE conference yet again.

When I first started attending these four years ago, I was… overwhelmed. It was just like the feast to me. I even stayed at a hotel just to… get some of it back. It was even somewhat emotional for me to stay at the airport… so many people.

This time… that’s gone. All gone. I had no real desire to stay at a hotel, the feast was not evoked… it’s over. In the past. Dealt with. Gone.

I saw it for exactly what it was. A conference full of geeks that I could learn stuff from. And learn I did. But. If I wanted to leave the session, I left the session. If I wanted to leave the conference, I left the conference. If I wanted food, I ate. If I wanted to ask the presenters questions, I asked questions. I went, I learned, I attended, I left. No big deal.

I am not uncomfortable anymore.

The feast is dead.

The WCG is dead.

I am free. And becoming more free every day.

It’s like The Godfather. I’ve been trying to get out, but they keep on pullin’ me back in!!!

I have been trying to pursue my non-ex-CoG-interests that I had, prior to starting my mental exit from the church (as opposed to my physical exit, which was almost a decade-and-a-half ago), and to that end, I’ve been picking up the thread that has run through my entire life, science fiction. First I found that William Gibson quote, and it related to the Evolution-Creation CageMatch on AW (that seems to have thankfully wound down for the moment), and then I was catching up on some Neil Gaiman interviews, and I found this:

Q. Have you personally ever had any of your work censored?

A. Yes. I once when I was young nearly sent a Swedish publisher to jail for a bible story. I was involved in a comic called Outrageous Tales from the Old Testament where we retold, with a straight face, stories from the Old Testament. I told a story from the book of Judges, in which a man’s wife is to quote the bible “whoring about on him.” And he sent her away and then he goes and gets her back from her father. He misses her. They stop off in this little village over night. The townsfolk gather around on the road to Bethlehem, which is where they are and say, “That man that came to you tonight. Throw him out so that we may have sex with him. We want to rape him.” And this man says “No. No. No. I will not. That would be a terrible thing. That would be a violation of all the laws of hospitality. And he’s my guest. But I’ll tell you what. He has a wife with him and I have a virgin daughter whose never known any man. You can have them.” They get known and abused all night and are left dead on the doorstep the next morning. When the guy gets up the morning he finds his wife dead on the doorstep and takes her home and cuts her into thirteen bits and into twelve locks and sends one to each of the tribes of Israel. So I told that story and did it fairly straight, and next thing I knew I had a Swedish publisher about to go to jail because there is a Swedish law forbidding the depiction of images of violence against women. That particular bible story is filled with images of violence against women. I think it was more or less only the fact that it was from the bible and told completely straight that got him off.

Um. He cut her into twelve bits, actually, and I only know this because I read it in The Bible Story. When I was nine. The following text and illustrations are taken from The Bible Story Vol. III, written and illustrated by Basil Wolverton. And remember, when you read the following narrative, that it is an allegory for the world we were living in, as children of the church: The Levite represented the Levitical priesthood we were beholden to, in the WCG, and we were like the elderly Ephraimite. (I literally was like the elderly Ephraimite, being from an Ephraimite colony at the time.)

The “New Morality”

In that era when Israel was without a national leader, with everyone generally doing as he pleased as long as he could get away with it, another episode occurred that brought tragedy. Misery and death came to thousands because they were living apart from their Creator. This event started near Mt. Ephraim, where another Levite lived with his common-law wife. They believed in the “New Morality” of that day. They, like so many couples throughout history, lived in sin. They didn’t obey God’s laws that would bring family happiness. The woman then began to live with other men. Later she left to return to the home of her parents in the town of Bethlehem in the land of the tribe of Judah. (Judges 19:1-2)

After she had been gone four months, the man decided he couldn’t get along any longer without her — and hoped she would now be ready to come home. He and a servant set out on burros for Bethlehem, about twenty miles to the southwest. When they neared the home of the woman’s parents, the man was pleasantly surprised to see his common-law wife coming out of the house and happily rushing out to meet him.

“I am sorry I left you,” she told him, “and I am glad you came after me. I should be pleased to return with you to Mt. Ephraim!”

She led him into the home of her parents, who welcomed him cordially. In fact, because they were happy to see him and because they wanted their daughter to stay with him as long as possible, they kept the couple as guests for three days.

On the fourth day the Levite intended to leave for home, but the father-in-law prevailed on him to stay a few more hours. Time slipped by, and then it was too late to set out. (Judges 19:3-7.)

On the fifth day, the couple prepared to leave early, but again the woman’s parents treated them so well with food, drink, and pleasant conversation that they were delayed into the late afternoon.

“Why start out at this hour?” the Levite’s father-in-law asked. “You can’t get very far before dark. It would be wiser to stay here one more night and plan to start out in the morning. Meanwhile, relax, and enjoy yourselves.”

“No, we must start out this afternoon,” the Levite said, realizing that if he continued to give in, they would never get home.

The woman’s parents knew they had kept their daughter as long as possible.

Tearfully they saw the couple off on their trip northward.

By the time the Levite, his common-law wife (called a “concubine” in the Bible), a servant and two burros reached Jerusalem, about four miles away, it was almost sundown. (Judges 19:8-10.)

“I suggest we stop here for the night, sir,” the servant remarked. “If we travel after dark, we’ll risk being robbed.”

“I don’t prefer to stay here in Jerusalem,” the Levite said. “The people here are Canaanites, and I don’t trust them. It is better to spend the night among our own people. I would rather go on to Gibeah or Ramah where the people are Israelites.”

It was about two and one-half more miles to the Benjamite city of Gibeah. The sun went down just before they got there. (Judges 19:11-15.) They sat down in a prominent place to wait for someone to invite them into his home for the night, since a small town like Gibeah probably didn’t have an inn. Soon an elderly Ephraimite, returning home late from working in the fields, walked up to the little group.

“You look like strangers here,” the old man said to them. “Where have you come from and where are you going?”

The Levite explained that he and his concubine and servant were travelling from Bethlehem to the Tabernacle  at Shiloh. He mentioned that they had plenty of food and wine for themselves and feed for the animals, but no place to sleep. (Judges 19:16-19.)

Is Anyone Safe?

“Ah, but you’re welcome at my home!” the old man declared enthusiastically, motioning them to follow him. “And I have plenty of food for all, and provender for your burros, so keep what you have. Otherwise you might run short. Come! Let’s get off the street. It isn’t safe here at night!”

Later, when all of them were comfortably eating and conversing in the old man’s house, there was a loud rapping on the door. The host opened it, only to be jerked outside by a group of mean-looking young men.

“We know that you have a stranger in your house!” one of them growled menacingly. “Send him out here at once to us, or you’ll be in for plenty of trouble! And don’t tell him anything! Just get him out here!”

CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE

THE “NEW MORALITY”

The old man, who had invited the three strangers to spend the night at his home in Gibeah, was pulled outside by hoodlums. They demanded that he send out his Levite guest. The old fellow shook his head in fear and disbelief when he realized what these vile men wanted to do. (Judges 19:16-22.)

Willing to Compromise

“Please go away and leave us alone!” he pleaded. “This Levite is my guest along with his wife and servant! It would be a terrible disgrace to let anything happen to him at my home. Surely you can find your pleasure elsewhere!”

The old man was very concerned about his reputation. But he was much less concerned about the drift into the decaying morality of that time.

“Do as we say,” the men growled, closing in more tightly around him, “or you’ll never get back into your house!”

The elderly Ephraimite was sure that by now the man they wanted probably had heard the unfriendly voices, and wouldn’t come out under any circumstance. In a frantic attempt to escape from this nightmare situation, the old man was moved to make a miserable suggestion. To save his male guest — and his own reputation as a host — he self-righteously stooped to an unthinkable compromise.

“Look, fellows,” he begged. “Don’t consider such a terrible perversion. I have a young daughter inside! We’ll send her and my guest’s wife out to you to do with as you please if you’ll only forget about the man!” (Judges 19:23-24.) The miserable old man thought men were more important and more worthy of protection than women. He reasoned that what he was suggesting was a lesser perversion and would be less sinful.

“We don’t care about the women!” was the angry reply.

Sick with fear, the old man ambled back into the house. Hesitantly he whispered the situation to his guest, who turned pale at what he heard. Like his host, his frenzied mind quickly sought a wretched way of escape. As a Levite from the tabernacle at Shiloh, he especially should have trusted God for His promised deliverance. (Leviticus 26:3, 6; Deuteronomy 4:31;  20:4; 31:6.)

“Don’t let them in!” the Levite muttered cravenly, seizing his common-law wife. To save himself, he was ready to do anything — even sacrifice the woman he should have been protecting.

He hauled the surprised woman up to the door, yanked it open, and thrust her outside. (Judges 19:25.) Quickly he closed and bolted door, hoping the mob would be more gentle with her than depraved mobs usually are. It happened so suddenly that the poor woman hardly knew what was happening until she found herself being stared at by the depraved men waiting outside. She wheeled around to get back into the house, pounding feverishly on the door. The men stared lustfully at her, noting for the first time that she was unusually attractive.

“Let’s take her and forget about the man for now!” one of them suggested.

The others nodded in agreement. The frightened, struggling woman was dragged away. Though she repeatedly screamed for help, there was no one to even try to rescue her. The men who should have protected her were hiding behind locked doors, completely lacking in the compassion and courage they should have displayed under the circumstances. Theirs was the corrupt type of character that prevailed in a time when Israel was far from God.

Hours later, just before sunrise, the woman came staggering up to the house and fell down at the door. (Judges 19:26.) In the meantime, her cowardly common-law husband was preparing to leave without her. He didn’t know where she was, but he was afraid to look for her lest he run into trouble with the depraved men who had taken her.

On opening the door to leave, he was surprised to find her lying there face down. His conscience stung him because of the cowardly, brutal way he had acted. But instead of helping her up, he chose to assert himself as her master, even in the face of her pitiable circumstance.

“Get up woman!” he barked. “I want to get going for home right away!”

There was no answer or movement. The man motioned for his servant to help the woman up. The servant tried to get her to her feet. It was then that they discovered she was dead.

A Desperate Plan

Without a word the Levite lifted the body onto one of his burros and started for home. (Judges 19:27-28.) On the way he had plenty of opportunity to consider how cruel and cowardly he had been. He regretted his terrible conduct, but at the same time he hoped he could place the blame for his common-law wife’s death elsewhere. The more he thought about the depraved Benjamites, the more he considered their guilt and the less he considered his. By the time he arrived home, his anger and desire for revenge had grown to such an extent that he conceived a gruesome plan.

The first thing he did was compose twelve copies of this message, a copy to be sent to each of the twelve tribes of Israel:

“My wife was lately seized by Benjamites in their city of Gibeah. She died because of their brutal advances. I am sending proof of her death. I ask that something be done to execute vengeance on the foul men who are responsible.”

The Levite immediately sent the letter to all parts of Israel by swift carriers. Wherever it arrived it was startlingly effective, but not just because of the words. With each message the angry Levite included a piece of his wife’s body, having cut her up into twelve parts!

The story continues on from there, this incident being the catalyst for the civil war between the two kingdoms, that resulted in ten of the tribes being “lost”, i.e., captured by Assyria (Germany), and that segues nicely into British-Israelism, always an important concept to pound into the kiddies’ heads early.

Something tells me Neil Gaiman’s version was better……

(Moral of the story: Never piss off a minister.)

……Or several, from William Gibson. Inspired by the latest flare-up of Christians vs. Atheists on AW, with the attendant spillover onto at least one other blog. I forget where I got the quote from originally. I’ve had it sitting in a file for years. The below quote has never seemed more eerily appropriate than right now.

……I am, as far as I can tell, more or less a centrist, equally repelled by either extreme of the political spectrum. Indeed, I believe that the spectrum forms a full circle, with right and left merging, as they meet at their respective extremes, into luminous batshit evil.” – William Gibson

He is speaking here of politics, but you could just as easily replace “left” and “right” with “atheists” and “believers” and “centrist” with “agnostic” in the above quote, and you will have my feelings on the whole brouhaha that seems to erupt roughly once a month on the ex-WWCoG Internet.

What causes the believers and the atheists to endlessly, fruitlessly, futilely, argue with each other, over and over and over and over and over again? What? The phases of the moon? A temporal loop? The definition of insanity? What?!

Whatever it is, I’m about ready to get off this carnival-ride, it’s starting to make me nauseous.

Its always the same tune, isn’t it? They come out of the woodwork to “defend their faith”, and never quite figure out that they’re the ones who are making a big deal out of nothing.

Example here.

Apparently the use of the word “goddamned” set him off, and elicited a self-righteous response. I called him on it, and they came out of the woodwork and started piling on me.

Fucking typical. Seems to be what happens every time.

Say that subject line six times fast. For those of you who have never been privy to the cracktastic-ness of mind-bogglery that is Baron Bob’s Weird Gift Emporium, STOP READING this and click on over.

Back? Yes, I realize you valued that two hours you just wasted, and yes it was part of my master plan for you to waste two hours looking at truly godawful “gifts”. For I am god as god is god…no, wait.

The “gift” in particular that caught my eye, which I would like to draw your attention to, is this one.

The realistic Matzah printing gives you the feel of the Jewish plight while leaving the land of Egypt!”

I consider it a particular side-effect of my unique religious “heritage” (yes that word is in quotes for a reason), that the sight of the “gift” above actually makes me hungry.

True confession time, I was one of those weirdos who actually liked the taste of the sinless bread. Tonight I decided to try and find the exact brand/box of matzos we used to buy every year, so I went to Google Image Search to see what I could shake loose.

Unfortunately or fortunately, either my memory or my Google-fu has failed me. (I suspect it may be a combination of both.) I do remember that it was usually a red box. Or whichever was the cheapest brand we could afford, in any given year.

Plain or egg only, thank you, we weren’t meant to be enjoying our sinless bread with any kind of palatable flavouring or different from what other church members were buying. Although I can reliably report that whole wheat matzos, also those Ry-Crisp melba-toast-left-under-the-broiler-too-long things, are absolutely disgusting in all respects.

But back to my image search. The closest I could come up with via Google was this:

I don’t remember the word “American” on the label……The blue box of the two below, or one that looked awful damn close at least, were in the house a couple of years:

These ones also look vaguely familiar, possibly we ate this brand when I was very young.

Why this sudden urge to recall with perfect clarity what the box(es) of the matzos we used to buy look(ed) like? I dunno. Likely related to a conversation I was involved in today where the other party waxed enthusiastic, nostalgic, etcetera about their past, childhood, etcetera.

I refrained from harshing the buzz by revealing that, having existed for most of my life in a parallel universe that no longer exists, I have nothing to be nostalgic about nor enthusiastic for, with regards to my childhood and my past.

Except, maybe, the taste, texture and consistency of matzos.

[Continued from previous post]

[Basil Wolverton] became an elder in the Worldwide Church of God. He was a student of the Bible and taught a Bible class.

He accepted this very important commission.

The Bible Story is definitely not a series of disconnected stories of excitement and violence with no special meaning. Our purpose is to tell simply, in language children can read and understand, plainly, yet interestingly, the plain story of the Bible itself. It begins at the beginning. A continuous story thread runs through the entire Bible. Not many have ever grasped this amazing yet important fact. Most people read a verse here, or a chapter there, failing to properly connect them, or understand the true continuity of the Bible story.

This book is not written merely for children. Adults by multiple thousands followed the installments avidly when they first appeared in The Plain Truth. Adults will gain an understanding of the WHOLE BIBLE — of its continuous story thread — from this book.

…Wolverton has written in language of about the nine- to twelve-year level. This makes it interesting reading for adults. As written it is a little advanced for younger children when read by themselves, but parents may read it to children as young as four or five, and with a little simplified explanation of portions they would not comprehend clearly by themselves, it will become quite understandable, interesting and profitable. …..Wolverton stuck tenaciously to the literal biblical account. He took, where it was felt necessary, author’s license to portray certain portions or sequences in conversational style — but he was zealously careful not in any way to “add to or detract from” the real meaning and truth of the Sacred scriptures.

It is our fervent hope that this volume of The Bible Story in book form, now published in memory of Basil Wolverton who died in December 1978, and presented to you as a ministry of love, without money and without price, will bring you and your children abundant blessings.

[.........I feel sick.........]

[Continued from previous post]

Today’s children are born into a confused, mixed-up, divided religious babylon. The hundreds of organized religious denominations and sects cannot agree on what the Gospel is; on who or what God is; on whether Christ was human, divine, or both; whether there is a devil; what salvation is; what or where the reward of the “saved” shall be; or how one may obtain it. Each one seems to take for granted whatever brand of religious belief has been taught him from childhood.

It is ten times more difficult to unlearn error than to learn TRUTH. This, then, is the dilemma that challenged me: children, still today, are being reared in the same old secular pagan philosophies and customs, with the addition of the so-called scientific approach that has arrived with the acceptance of the theory of evolution. This atheists’ attempt to explain the presence of a creation without the existence of a Creator has become the basic concept by which all causes, origins and purposes are explained. By the time these innocent children have been inoculated with this anti-God poison and reached maturity, most of them have too much to UNlearn before their minds can accept original truth. An inborn prejudice has been set up. And prejudice is an absolute barrier to the entrance of TRUTH into the mind.

But what could I do about it?

Children need, as they need life itself, an awareness of the basic TRUTHS of the Bible as they are growing up! If only we could get to them the knowledge of God — of the Creator and His vast creation — of His authority and rulership over the creation He brought into being and now sustains — of the invisible and inexorable spiritual laws He set in motion to regulate relationships and produce happiness, peace, and everything good — of the knowledge that the Bible definition of sin is simply the transgression of those laws operating for our good — of the basic knowledge of God’s purpose being worked out here below, and of His plan for working it out — of the biblical revelation of Christ and what He means to us today — of the vital connection of case histories, incidents, experiences — so often seized upon as material for the blood-and-thunder type Bible stories — with God’s overall purpose, and with the Gospel — if only growing children could be possessed of this knowledge, they would not be deceived and misled by the secular school systems.

But none of the children’s Bible story books I could find even remotely filled this purpose.

In His own due time God supplied the man for the job — a man equipped by natural training, experience and profession for this all-important mission.

[To be continued]

Part 4

[Continued from previous post]

There was an even more important reason for this sense of responsibility toward children.

In my research into the history of education, the truth emerged of the diabolical master conspiracy for deceiving the whole world. This world deception has been accomplished through the system of education. It begins with infants and children of elementary school age. Long before Christ brought the Gospel, the pagan teacher Plato introduced the first school of organized curriculum, called the Academy. The system developed with passing generations. In the era of Christianity’s earliest appearance, the Roman Empire was dotted with these pagan schools.

These schools taught pagan philosophies and ways of life diametrically opposite to Christ’s teachings.Participation in pagan holiday exercises, and pagan customs, was a required part of the curriculum.

During first-century apostolic evangelism, many converts received into their very hearts the eye-opening Gospel TRUTH and rejected the pagan heresies. They were truly converted — changed in mind and belief and ways of living. But their children were victims of the established system of education. A second generation became nominal Christians only. A third, reared in basic paganism, accepted the addition of certain Christian beliefs and the NAME of Christ.

It was impossible for church leaders, during the second, third and fourth centuries, to set up real Christian schools. The printing press had not been invented. There were no textbooks except the pagan texts. And by that time even the church had leaders themselves were largely the victims of the secular paganized education.

One crux factor dominates this entire educational process — always has. The child is not graded on ability to prove whether the teaching is true or false. He is graded on willingness to accept without question, memorize and absorb whatever is taught. Educators have, as Paul wrote, been reluctant to retain God in the knowledge they disseminated (Romans 1:28).

The newborn infant knows nothing at birth. Humans must learn and be taught. Born in a predominately [sic] paganized world, the infant is taught from birth the customs and ways of society. It would never occur to him to question them. They are simply absorbed — taken for granted — accepted.

This educational system produced the natural and inevitable falling away from original TRUTH, as instituted by Christ. This “mystery of iniquity” was already working to undermine the faith once delivered, even in the apostle Paul’s day (II Thessalonians 2:7). By the time Jude wrote, he was inspired to exhort sincere people to contend earnestly for the faith once delivered (Jude 3). Already the apostasy had set in.

[To be continued.]

Part 3