This is proving to be a very difficult time in history for me, more than most people. The WCG trained me to think in terms of the world ending, and a tribulation occurring, and it sure looks like we’re closer to that than any time in recent memory. It’s easy to say “well, yeah, it’s been that bad before, or worse”, but whenever it happens now, it always seems worse than anything that happened before.

I also have to admit that it kind of gave me a grounding that most people don’t have, as I never drank the kool-aid of trying to make lots of money off of my house and game the system, and never invested or did anything risky, and as a consequence, I’ve so far been relatively untouched by most of the issues unfolding around me. That may change, in fact, it likely will, but so far it turns out that I’ve made some fairly good choices that did not look like good choices at the time.

The thing about this that gets me the most is that this crisis is mostly self-made. This is what happens when a significant percentage of people get greedy, this is what happens when people start having an “entitlement” mentality, and this is what happens when people forget the lessons of the past. This is what happens when people are stupid. We are now, collectively, paying the price for stupidity.

I don’t see this as a depression, not really. I see this as a correction. Not only is the economy correcting itself, but society is also correcting itself, because the age of “me first” and “I’ve got mine” is all but over. Life is going to start becoming (if it hasn’t already) very, very difficult for people with that mindset. Some people haven’t yet gotten the message. And thus the title of this post.

There are five recognized stages of grief, and an order that they are known to usually appear in. Denial, anger, bargaining, despair, and acceptance. And, if you look closely, you can see people in all five stages.

Those people in denial are the ones saying “it’s not that bad” or “we’ll recover soon.” These are the people who are not planning on making any changes in their lifestyle, the people who are surprised when they get laid off, and the people who think that cutting back is selling their SUV and buying a Prius. These are the people who will end up getting hurt the worst, because they are simply incapable of understanding that the days of free money, the days of using their house as an ATM, and the days of spending like they’re rich are over.

The people in the “anger” stage are at the same time the ones I fear most and the ones I am hoping for the most, as anger is a tremendous motivator for change. Anger at Bush and his failed policies, anger at the Republicans for allowing this recession to happen in the first place, and anger at the Wall Street traders, etc., who are taking and taking even after the government has given them a bailout, is the reason that Obama was elected, is the reason that Obama feels that he is justified at demanding pay caps from the Wall Street traders who just got $18 billion of bonuses, paid for by our money. I have to admit, I am angry too.

I only hope this anger doesn’t lead to riots. I can say that I think it’s very possible, and I can’t say I wouldn’t understand. I hope that people find ways to constructively vent their anger.

Bargaining is the most dangerous stage, because it is the reason that we have all of these bailouts right now, and it is the reason that the government is trying to pass this stimulus package. The Republicans are still in the stage of denial (whether naturally or pretend), and they are stonewalling this. But I’m not sure the stimulus or bailout packages are doing anything other than slowing things down. This is because people are trying to do something, they’re trying to bargain. They’re saying, “If I do this, then maybe it won’t be so bad”. And maybe it won’t. But things are still going to run their course, no matter what they do.

Despair is the fourth stage, and it’s the stage where people finally realize there’s nothing that can be done, and you may as well ride it out. This is where I think we enter “depression” stage, and where we will finally see curbing of some of the excesses, and where we as a society will finally start to come out of it. This is where people will finally realize that they don’t have unlimited money, that they can’t just be all about themselves, that they made a huge mistake, and that those times will never, ever come back. Then they adjust, they start to become happy with what they have, even though there’s less of it, and they start to go out and start producing things again. This is the acceptance stage, and once the country as a whole reaches this stage, the economy will begin to rebound. It will be a shell of its former self, but it will be more solid, and it will not be prone to crashing.

At least, until people forget this lesson and the whole insanity starts all over.

This is why the Republicans have failed and are doomed to fail. They are still in denial, while the rest of the country has moved on.

This is why the government is going to, whether it likes it or not, have to drastically change its focus – because bargaining does not make things better in the long run. And this is why people around the world, to (shudders) coin a phrase from a daughter-fucker we all know and hate, are going to have to prepare to reduce our standard of living.

And this is why we will ultimately be better off for it, if we can keep things running enough to not collectively kill ourselves.

This is not the tribulation. This is simply a return to reality. Something we have been sorely needing ever since Reagan got into office and started fucking things off.

We’re not dead yet. But our way of life as we know it, is. Now, we have to pick up the pieces and forge something new and better. Something founded on true conservatism. Live and let live. Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps if you’re able, and help someone else out if they aren’t. Live within your means, as people, as a country, and as a world. Don’t sweat things like abortions or gay marriage or any of that crap, but help others if they need it. We’re going to have to rely on each other now. And this is where we’ve been needing to be for years and years.

Yuppieism is dead. Rampant, uncontrolled capitalism is dead. Social conservatism is dying. Liberalism is gapsing for air. Neoconservatism has utterly and completely failed.

And hopefully what takes the place of all this will eventually make the world a better place.

I think we need a change of direction. Breathing space, if you will, considering how things have taken a downturn of late. Let me tell you about the swimming hole.

I still don’t swim. I guess I should call it the “skipping-rocks-and-communing-with-nature hole” instead. It was one of those breaks in the trees, on the banks of one of the Great Lakes. During a time where the smell of raw sewage only rose if the wind was going in a certain direction. The water was clear, and looked (for the most part) endless, at least from the elevation of that particular haunt of mine.

The pebbles on the ground had been worn smooth by millions of years of erosion. Being the Intelligent Design believer that I was, as a naive child, I used to think about how “god” had personally shaped each pebble, and knew that I was holding each pebble in my hand that “he” had shaped. (Rather self-centred view of the world, but that’s the kind of god the church’s belief system created for me.) Driftwood and a few large boulders provided an adequate place to sit and not think.

Not think? Correct. In all my years of living in various rural settings, from one end of this country to another, the only times I found peace when I was a child, was when I was not thinking about the future (apocalypse), or fleeing to Petra, or the coming kingdom, or whether or not I was “faithful” enough in my “works” to get in.

Sitting in the crook of the root of an old-growth tree and watching an ant-hill. Sitting on the shores of a lake (Great or unnamed and unmapped). Watching the fish break the surface at dusk. Watching birds squabble and fight over the tastiest morsels. Gathering bundles of sticks and piling them together into a freeform structure to “mark my place” in the world. Dipping my toes in lakes both large and small, and in oceans on either side of this continent. Tipping my head back and seeing the ghostly outline of our galactic neighbourhood in the Milky Way in the night sky above me. These were all times when I felt at peace.

For whatever reasons, when I was out in the natural world, I never thought about the bible, or the apocalypse, or fleeing, or the kingdom, or the world tomorrow, or my incredible human potential. When I was younger, I would think piously about the Intelligent Design dogma I was fed, but even then, those thoughts were fleeting and quickly passed. I would like to think I have matured since then, and don’t have nearly as self-centred a view of myself as I used to.

(I have good days and bad days.)

As I grew older, I always had a sense of an encompassing emptiness. A paradoxical emptiness, that was fullness and emptiness and everything in between. What the gnostics call “ineffable”, although I don’t deify the feeling personally. “There is no spoon.” ?? Maybe.

When I am in the woods, or even sitting in my backyard and watching the winter swallows chatter and bicker at the feeder, watching the clouds race each other in the sky; when I am staring across the expanse of the Pacific or the Atlantic, at a sunrise or a sunset, from a star that is beyond the farthest distance that I can imagine; at all these times, I find myself without thought.

Are believers afraid of the emptiness, that they must create their own gods to fill them? Perhaps, but those gods aren’t everything they’re promised to be. Maybe really seeing the “face of the divine” (if there is such a thing) is acknowledging that there is no “face”; no anthropomorphic spirit or sky buddy or deity or anything that the conscious mind can comprehend. There is only the emptiness.

Sitting with the emptiness is harder to do, when I am inside a building or a house or a supermarket. It’s easier to do when I am in the natural world, in the environment as it is. I don’t know why it works like that. Maybe I’m the only one.

Ten billion humans on planet earth, third rock from the sun, and we are still only a drop on the back of a speck in the vast cosmos that surrounds us. Neither atheism nor religion is required to acknowledge that fact, but both sides put a different spin on it.

I’m so not about the spin anymore. If you are doing no harm to yourself or others, spin like a top, for all I care. Tell yourself whatever you need to, to get through your day, and your life without causing others distress.

I have no stories to tell myself, I have no myths that I believe as “true”. (We grew up way too fast/Now there’s nothing to believe/When reruns all become our history.) I can change my myths, or adapt them if I feel like it, but at the end of the day, even under all the myths, there is nothing. Which is just the way it is, always has been, and always will be. Long after all of our bodies have decomposed back into the ecosystem from which we came.

For all of us who are observing or participating in the latest round of “discussions” on AW, I recommend that you turn off the computer, open your front door, walk outside, and observe the environment around you. Even if it’s an urban setting, there will still be natural life there. The earth, if it has taught us nothing else, prevails against whatever mankind has thrown at it, during our brief span of self-awareness and civilization. Watch the stars, looks for shapes in the clouds. Take some time, to just stop.

Things on the Internet won’t seem nearly so pressing. I guarantee it.

The fact of the matter is that how much Joe Tkach, Jr. gets paid, is none of your business. And it isn’t mine either.

So speaks a current member of the church on Ambassador Watch.

I think that pretty much speaks for itself, don’t you?

Wow. Just wow. Look what I found on Youtube:

I…..I just don’t know where to start. First of all, it’s “communion service”?? Secondly, what IS dude doing while everyone’s collecting their tipple? Play-by-play commentary??

Waaaaaaugh! And he just had to slip in a reference to Ezekiel, didn’t he?

Check out the Mrs., she sneaks a taste of the holy cardboard before everyone else. This, after hubby specifically tells everyone to wait till they’ve all got one. Hmmm.

I’m really not sure what to make of the commentary; it’s just damn weird. And then they all raise their matzohs in a toast! Wait, what?!

That Mrs. really doesn’t want to be there. Look at her chewing away on the matzoh like it’s a piece of stale gum, not her Lawd and Jebus! ROFL! (She’s the minister’s wife, I’m assuming, the bored-looking blonde on the left.)

He acts like he’s explaining the wine to five-year-olds. What is up with that? And that prayer over the wine (Um — aren’t they supposed to pray over the bread??) is longer than any opening prayer I’ve heard in a while.

And then they toast Jebus with the wine!!! Holy crap, that’s unlike any other cracker ceremony I’ve ever seen on Youtube!!

(Bonus points if you can spot the ones downing the blood of jebus like it’s closing time.)

I really have to wonder if this is the first time they did it, and it was “caught on candid camera”, so to speak. You’ll notice you don’t see the faces of any of the members (who are all old, I am guessing lifers), and they are all silent. Do they even want to be there, and doing what they’re doing? Stephen R. Smith sounds like he’s pleading with them to get into it…..I really don’t know what to say. Words…..words fail me. It just seems so dry, so dull. So forced and unimaginative. (The erstwhile Mrs. Smith certainly seems like she doesn’t want to be there.)

Just compare that with something like this:

Worldwide Church of God. Still not Christian. No matter how much they try and insist to the world that they really truly 100% are now. Wow. Just. Wow.

Tellingly, however, Stephen R. Smith also has THIS video on his channel:

Can’t eat your cake (bread?) and have it too, Stevie.

A few years ago, I was a poster over on the Daily Kos – I told them that while I did not agree with many of the things that they agreed with, I thought Bush was so bad for the country that I would put that aside and work with them to get Bush thrown out of office. We did so, and now Barack Obama is the 44th president of the United States.

I also told them that once we got rid of the bums, that I would probably go back to being Independent and criticize them just as strongly as I did bush.

That time has come.

Obama has done some good things since coming into office, which I am impressed by. I am impressed by the executive orders that roll back some of Bush’s worst abuses, I am impressed by the rumblings I hear of some of the Bushies being held accountable for their lawless and, frankly, fucked up actions, and I am impressed by his willingness to pass bills that actually support human and civil rights rather than trying to destroy them.

But this stimulus bill is beyond the pale.

No, Obama is not entirely responsible for it. The Democrats, now that they have power, have started running amok, like kids in a candy store. As much as I hate to admit it, the Republicans have a point here. We need to invest in infrastructure that will build the country, that will enable us to make more money and increase our GDP down the road, not in things like contraception, etc.

This is not sound fiscal policy, and we’re just heading for more ruin.

Obama will probably sign the bill, and we’ll get a short term stimulus… until the bills come due. Then, who knows what.

But, Democrats, and Obama – I’m not impressed. I expected better, and you’re not delivering. Keep this up, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a third party candidate wins sometime soon.

Check out this article, from the most excellent blog Debunking Christianity.

FBI spokesperson Greg Robins reported that found in the $37.9 million dollar mansion of the famous televangelist were 3 Hefty trash bags full of $100 bills that had been used as toilet paper over the course of two months.

I wonder, now why exactly, does this article remind me so much of Junior and Weazell??

Aggie speaking here. Welcome to a new series on I Survived Armstrongism, “We are the Children of the Church” wherein I will be reprinting several relevant Youth magazine articles that were directed at children and teenagers in the church.

Youth magazine (beginning with Youth ‘81, and winding up around Youth ‘94 or so), was the church’s answer to Highlights for Children. With a little bit more of an apocalyptic bent, however. As witness the first article I would like to exorcise today, ‘It Won’t be Long Now’ (this was published, let me remind you, in 1981).

Youth ‘81, September Special Festival Edition

‘It Won’t Be Long Now’

In God’s Kingdom, man and animals — even those animals that are now ferocious — will dwell together in harmony.

By Keith Stump

[Who will ever forget reliable ol' Stumpy?]

When you see a giant, furry lion, bear, gorilla or other cuddly looking animal in a zoo or on television, do you wish you could have it for a pet and play with it without fear?

Today, so many of God’s most beautiful and majestic creatures remain beyond our reach as pets and companions. Either they fear us — or we fear them.

This will not always be the case. One of the most familiar scriptures about the soon-coming Millennium [Remember, this was published September, 1981.] is Isaiah 11:6: “The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them.” Many years ago, this peaceful theme was used in the design of the Ambassador College seal, which pictures a lion, a lamb and a child standing together as friends.

Long ago animals and man lived together unafraid. When animals were created about 6,000 years ago [Young Earth much? Gap Theory fever didn't really hit the church till about '85 or so.] they were all friendly and harmless. (Gen. 2:19-20). But Adam and Eve sinned, and the earth became cursed. Animals became wild. Some even became ferocious.

At the time of the great Flood of Noah’s day, God miraculously brought pairs of all the animals to the ark. [Including penguins, right Stumpy?] There they dwelt together for more than a year, until the earth’s surface was dry. All the land animals on earth today are descended from those animals. (Gen. 8:17).

After the Flood, the animals left the ark and returned to field and forest. [Some of them swam to Australia. Even the kangaroos.] Ever since that time, animals have had a fear of man (Gen. 9:2) — and many are feared by man! The evil tyrant Nimrod, the “mighty hunter” (Gen. 10:8-9) gained a position of leadership over the people by protecting them from the wild beasts. [Contrast this with the delusion that the Levites in the church were supposed to protect us from "the Beast" and "the world", therefore we had to do everything they said.]

Like Isaiah, the prophet Ezekiel tells us of a much different time just ahead: “And I [God] will make with them a covenant of peace, and will cause the evil beasts to cease out of the land; and they shall dwell safely in the wilderness, and sleep in the woods.” (Ezek. 34:25)

In the Millennium God will change the lion’s desire for flesh food to an appetite for vegetation. “The lion shall eat straw like the ox,” Isaiah tells us (Isa. 11:7). No longer will the lamb have to fear to come near the lion. The Ambassador College seal will become reality.

[Let's unpack that last sentence for a moment, and really let it breathe. "The Ambassador College seal will become reality." So we believed, a long time ago, in a universe far, far away.]

But it’s not the Millennium yet!

This became apparent during the shooting of a sequence for this year’s Church-produced Festival film. [And which year didn't the Church produce the Festival film?] The filming, directed by Ross Jutsum, took place on the grounds of the Pasadena campus in May.

On this issue’s cover, and in the film, which will be shown at Feast sites this fall, you see a peaceful, millennial scene: A young woman sits on the grass beside a little girl. The girl is cuddling a small lamb. Directly in front of them lies a majestic lion, with no apparent harmful intentions toward the people or the lamb.

Has the Millennium already come to the Ambassador campus? [According to the Envoys, you would certainly think so.]

Not at all! On the contrary, the shooting of this millennial sequence demonstrated very clearly that the Millennium is yet in the future! [But remember, 'It won't be long now.'] The lion in the film is Zamba, a beautiful 7 year old that you have probably seen in movies. Zamba was used in a new Tarzan movie [that we weren't allowed to see]. He and his two trainers traveled to Ambassador College from San Bernardino, Calif., more than 50 miles from Pasadena [the centre of the universe -- or so they wanted us to think], for the shooting.

After Zamba was positioned on the grass, Ambassador College student Renae Bechthold and Imperial School student Emily Stump [Stumpy's little girl. Awwwwww.] took their places behind him.

At first the lion did not notice the small lamb in Emily’s arms. But it was not long before the afternoon breeze carried the lamb’s scent to the lion’s nostrils. Zamba immediately became interested! After his long trip on the freeway, Zamba was hungry. What better afternoon snack than that little lamb? [That's right. They starved the animal all the way to Pasadena.]

As soon as the lamb caught sight of the lion, it froze — terrified. That lion must have looked as big as a house to the little lamb. And it certainly didn’t help matters when the huge lion began licking its chops! The lamb was well aware that the Millennium has not yet arrived!

[As were all of us, the children of the church. But remember, 'it w[as]n’t [to] be long now’, in September, 1981.]

For two hours, Zamba’s interest was riveted on the lamb. Instead of looking toward the camera as he was supposed to, Zamba kept turning his head away from the camera and looking hungrily at the lamb just behind him. At one point he turned and moved menacingly toward the lamb — but was quickly prevented by his alert trainer.

This is certainly not the day when two such animals can “lie down safely”!

After many takes and retakes, Zamba at last began to cooperate. Through the persistent efforts of his trainers, he finally came to realize that they were not going to give him the lamb to eat — nor were they going to allow him to take it! Resigned to the situation, Zamba became the model actor, doing just what he was ordered to do, on cue.

Not many years from now [September, 1981], lions will not require trainers to keep them in line. Nor will lambs require protection from predators. Even venomous snakes will be playthings for young children (Isa. 11:8). Just as all peoples will dwell together in harmony [Left out the part about how all the races would each go back to their own country though, didn't you, Stumpy?], so shall men and animals dwell as friends at peace.

As Renae, Emily, the little lamb and Zamba picture on our cover and in the Feast film, “It Won’t be Long Now”!

So, you want to know what impact the church made on its children? I hope the above article, and the subsequent ones I will be posting, will adequately demonstrate exactly what the impact was.

(By the way, before anyone asks, I will not be reprinting any of The Children’s Bible Story. I spent the better part of yesterday evening reading through the entire set, and that was hard enough; I just can’t stomach typing it up. Sorry. Even my cast-iron constitution has its limits.)

Looks like they’ve revamped the Armstrong Worship Archive. Anyway, they’ve uploaded a five-year selection of the “Youth” magazines, oddly enough the same selection that I remember vividly. Just take a look at some of these covers, and tell me we did not live in a parallel universe.

I’ve been giving it some thought, and I think the comment policy needs revising yet again. Mostly because some of the posts here appear to be becoming a little more religious than they were, and it’s hardly fair for us to post about it and others to not be able to respond.

However. This is really, really tricky because I still want to encourage active seeking and discourage preaching. Frankly, I do NOT want this site to become another Ambassador Watch, with people posting prayers and screeds that are only half rooted in reality. I don’t want ex-WCGers coming in who are still drinking the kool-aid, posting rambling, incoherent screeds about stupid shit, and then bitching that we’re against “free speech” or whatever when we put a stop to it.

But I also think that with the new direction of the blog, a little opening is required. At least on my posts.

How do I avoid the preaching and self-righteousness while allowing honest seeking, even it it moves a little bit towards the Christian?

OK. At least for my posts, here are the new rules. Say what you want – but do so in a tone of questioning and seeking. In other words, don’t get self-righteous or condescending, don’t pray for me, don’t do stupid stuff. Engage me in conversation, don’t preach to me, don’t tell me what to believe, and if you want to tell me I’m full of shit, tell me why. In other words, be respectful – and not in the Christian way of “Jesus loves you if only you’d see it”. Be respectful of the fact that I am an atheist and that I’m not likely to change or be converted, and don’t try. I demand at least that much respect.

Otherwise, say what you want, I think most people who would abuse that now stay far, far away from this blog. Thankfully.

And… don’t try to preach while pretending to not. I can *tell*.

Thanks.

After the rather heavy-handedness of my last post, may I present The Secret Gnostic Egg Boil: