HAPPY HALLOWE‘EN!!!

In the spirit of the season, may I present you fine folk with LOLThulhu, that is to say, Cthulhu done in LOLcat macros. (Any Lovecraft fans in the house?) Just a teaser:

Ahhhhhh, Hallowe’en. The only secular holiday second in importance to me after Thanksgiving. With Christmas now running a close tie. Yes, I dressed up, yes I enjoyed seeing what others (adults that is) came up with. Funny, though, the first year I started getting into Hallowe’en, I didn’t even stop to think about it twice, and I’ve never (oddly enough) had the same “twinges” over the past ten years, as I’ve had with Xmas.

Given the virtually daily lectures I had to endure about “not letting demons in”, it stands to reason that I would be more averse to the Night of the Living Dead than I would be to Baby Jebus’ Real True Birthday, For Realz Yo!

Still, I didn’t sit around in the dark, or go hide in the basement; I did what every other single person my age without kids does: We hang out at the mall, window-shop, walk around and spend some of that not-really-disposable income we’re supposed to be dumping, to keep the economy solvent, and questioning whether or not “the little hooligans are done yet”?

(Hey, just because I can get behind Hallowe’en, doesn’t mean I will suddenly reverse my position on children: Like household pets, they are only tolerable when they belong to someone else, and are properly socialized.)

But no, I don’t give a first thought, never mind a second one, to the devils and demons and undead “spirits” of All Hallows Eve. Must be the atheist in me. Although I must admit, I took the time to reflect a little on my own mortality this year.

(Given that I was walking around dressed as one of the undead, it’s only logical right??)

Celebration of death. We were all about that, in Worldwide. It was practically Hallowe’en 365 days a year. We were the walking dead, and it wasn’t just a costume. After all, we were “dead to the world”, and the world was supposed to “let the dead bury their own”. What was the main focus in the church? The First, Second, and Third Resurrections. In order to have a resurrection, you need to have death first, and plenty of it. Basil Wolverton’s Apocalypse exemplified that perfectly.

We looked forward to death. We looked forward to the deaths of our “enemies” those “worldly” friends and family members who “persecuted” us for our “belief in the One True Church”. We thought gladly of the day our own deaths would be imminent, not the least of which was due to the fact that even death would be an improvement over the misery of our poverty- and fear-laced “mortal” lives that we were “building character” through, in order that we might be all the more effective Old Testament overlords.

We took sadistic glee in listening to the evangelists tell us how “the world” would suffer, and how the “unbelievers” would die horrible deaths, to come up in the Third Resurrection of course; reject angry avenging-gawd Jebus with the flaming sword in his mouth during the three-and-a-half years of Armageddon, and no Second Resurrection for you!

The life that we knew would be dead, when kingdom come. It was a miserable life by and large, but even our way of life was going to be eradicated forever, for all eternity, or so they instructed us.

I know I’m not going to make any friends by saying this, but we worshipped death. The crucifixion allegory being exemplified by Passover and the Exodus/paschal lamb parable are proof enough of that. Christians of the majority view focus on the resurrecting part of the christological figure’s resurrection. Back to the old circular logic, he’s-the-son-of-gawd-because-he-rose-from-the-dead-and-he-rose-from-the-dead-because-he’s-the-son-of-gawd. Yeah no. Just no. The real world does not work that way. My point though, and I do have one, is this:

Given how obssessed we were with death, is it any wonder why I can get behind Hallowe’en 100%, and have no problems whatsoever “celebrating” this secular holiday of ghosts, goblins, spooks and demons?

HAPPY HALLOWE‘EN!!!

Check this out:

That’s right. They’re Protestants worshipping a golden calf. More proof that Christianity and Judaism are absolutely separate from one another, and the “Old Testament” and the “New Testament” do NOT, King Jimmy to the contrary, belong in the same book together.

True confession time. A comment Robin made twigged me to write this post, which is more of a poll I guess, than anything else.

What church literature still sticks out in your mind all these years later? Beyond the YES lessons I mean, if you were old enough (or precocious enough like me) to start reading the “grown-up” stuff.

Here’s what still sticks out in my mind, some twenty-odd years after the fact:

The United States and British Commonwealth in Prophecy – I’m ashamed to say, I read this book at least four times, and yes, I really truly did believe it.

What Do You Mean – Salvation?

The Nature of God – Both versions. I confess, I couldn’t make heads nor tails of the trinitarian apologetic one.

The Seven Laws of Radiant Health

The clean/unclean book. I’m blanking on the title at the moment, but I remember vividly when they changed the booklet to a colour illustration of a pig standing in mud on a dinner plate on the front cover.

Lazarus and the Rich Man

The Wonderful World Tomorrow – What it Will be Like!

The how-to-save-money-when-you’re-giving-it-to-the-church-hand-over-fist booklet. I forget the title. It was a justification of tithing, with “financial tips” on how to “tighten your belt” in “the end times”.

That’s just off the top of my head. I’m reasonably certain that I must have read at least 85 – 90% of the church literature available in my day. (That included monthly issues of The Plain Truth, The Good News, Worldwide News, and the Youth XX magazine.)

Not only did they want thought-reformed sheeple, they wanted literate thought-reformed sheeple. Still, all things considered, being literate, and widely-read (at least in the genre of science fiction) is what ended up saving me in the end. Looking back on it, though, it’s easy to see how the church used the information overload to its own advantage; had to keep the tithe slaves distracted while they waited for the end that never came, after all.

Edited to add: Not to mention the vicious cycle just reading one piece of church lit could get the unsuspecting victim into: 99% of church literature referred you on to another piece of church lit, which referred you to another booklet, which referred you to the Plain Truth, which referred back to a different set of booklets, which referred you back to more booklets —- it was a never-ending cascade of booklets and magazines and books!

What do you remember reading?

I made two posts this weekend that were pretty much deliberately offensive. One was a joke in poor taste about Sarah Palin, and one about Barack Obama. My point was that a little political incorrectness was a healthy thing, and that laughing at what is otherwise a pretty bad situation (this election cycle is awful is OK.

Apparently I struck a nerve with a particular commenter. I attempted to contain it, but it started spilling over into one of Aggie’s posts. I found this to be a situation that threatened to escalate out of hand, and I had only a few choices. I chose the one I did not want to take, and removed all traces of this discussion from the blog.

This was out of respect for Aggie, frankly. I did not want her posts to become a lightning rod for comments that had nothing to do with them, and I didn’t feel that banning was appropriate in this case, as there is no doubt that the posts were offensive, and in this case, quite deliberately so.

But I want to make something perfectly clear.

This is MY BLOG. I pay for the server it runs on. I installed the software, I bought the domain name, and it is mine. I make the rules. If I want to ban anyone whose name starts with an I, I can do it. I thought I had made this perfectly clear when I started the blog, but I want to repeat it, as some people seem to have the idea that just because I have been managing this blog fairly (and intend to continue to do so), that I have an obligation to do so.

Let me be clear. Do not insult me or Aggie on this blog.. Specifically, do not compare us to Herbert Armstrong. Do not compare us to a WCG minister. Do not compare us to George W. Bush. Just… don’t. I’m serious. Don’t try me. If I have been particularly harsh with you, I’m liable to grant a little leeway and allow you to respond in kind (even to the point of allowing a little condescension or a mild insult). But I don’t have to, and, specifically, comparing either of us to Herbert Armstrong or a WCG minister will, from here on, get you banned. Seriously, folks – we lived for years under those bastards, and this is a fucking blog. That’s like comparing the editor of a right wing magazing to Hitler. It’s just stupid.

I have removed the offending discussion so that it does not cause a distraction. I have not taken any action towards the particular commenter that I am referring to. I don’t intend to… as long as it stops now. But I want to make sure that there are no illusions, no ideas that there is some kind of right to free speech here. I thought I had made it clear earlier, but I want to reiterate it. The only people who have free speech here are me and Aggie, and Aggie because I grant it to her.

Comments are disabled on this post. Do NOT comment on other posts to get your licks in. My email is available above, if you absolutely must get your licks in, there it is. I will be as polite as you are.

Now that this is clear, I return you to our regularly scheduled broadcasting.

OK OK you’ve heard it all. “Placebo effect.” or the one that it took me over ten years to shake “You’ll let demons in.”

Can I just say, I have anecdotal proof that, if you look hard enough and long enough, and find the right type of meditation that “clicks” for you (the one that clicked for me is a strange one, but then so am I, so there you have it), it does wonders for perspective, stress, and anxiety. At least it has done for mine.

So definitely plug away at it. There are all kinds of types of meditation. The “blank-your-mind” type never did work for me (and just made me really frustrated). The “trick-your-left-hemisphere-into-letting-your-right-hemisphere-out-to-play-for-awhile” variety of meditation is what did the trick for me. And is doing the trick. When I remember/get time to do it.

So there are a couple of varieties of meditation, and here’s a brief outline of the ones I have tried:

• “Blank your mind.” Harder than it sounds, and definitely spookifying.
• “Imagine you are at one with the universe.” That didn’t work either. Too newagey waiting-for-the-light crapola for my tastes.
• Repetitive recitation, combined with guided visualizations.

The last one is the one that did the trick for me. Basically, you engage the “logical” language centre of your brain (the “left” hemisphere, although it isn’t really the left, and can sometimes be part of the right, depending on the person) in a repetitive task, some kind of rote recitation, that will keep it occupied, distracted if you will.

This would be the part where the guided visualization part comes in. You can make up anything you want, whether it’s “being at one with the universe” (that didn’t work for me, but YMMV), or contemplating various myths from different parts of history. Whatever myth appeals to you the most, go with it.

(And if you don’t have a particular “favourite” set of myths, research some! That’s half the fun right there.)

I’m pleasantly surprised (and faintly pleased) with the insights I’ve gained about myself and, to a limited but increasing degree others, with this technique. The decreased anxiety, better self-perception and heightened self-awareness are all unexpected benefits I have gained as well.

So thumbs-up for meditation. Keep plugging away at it, it may just be worth it in the end!

So I was going to Target today to get some supplies for my Halloween costume. That’s a long story in itself. I go to the Target on Wendy Dr. in Thousand Oaks. There was an accident on the 101 that I saw on the way there, so on the way back I detoured down to Borchard Rd. and came back up. As I drove closer to the 101, at two major interesections there were the idiots with signs saying “Yes on 8″ and “Proposition 8 = PARENTAL RIGHTS”.

For those of you who don’t know, Proposition 8 is the constitutional amendment that will ban gay marriage in California. Those who are supporting Prop. 8 are framing it as “if this loses, your kids will be taught about gay marriage in school”. And all sorts of other crap.

Let me just say right off. If you support Prop. 8, you are an unthinking moron. And if you are against gay marriage, you are an unthinking moron.

You know why? Because it’s none of your fucking business.

And if you’re telling people it’s about parental choice, you are lying scum.

See, this is what I hate about people who call themselves Christians. For some reason, they think that their God gives them the right to stick their nose in where it doesn’t belong and control other people’s behavior. It doesn’t. Personally, I find gay acts repugnant. But would I try to stop them? No. Am I voting no on Prop. 8? Yes.

So do what you want. I’m not going to tell you how to vote. But if you’re one of those people who get off on telling other people what to do because it offends you… then GET OUT OF MY SIGHT.

From The Acts of John II-From Laodicea to Ephesus:

98. And having thus spoken, he showed me a cross of light fixed (set up), and about the cross a great multitude, not having one form: and in it (the cross) was one form and one likeness [so the MS.; I would read: and therein was one form and one likeness: and in the cross another multitude, not having one form]. And the Lord himself I beheld above the cross, not having any shape, but only a voice: and a voice not such as was familiar to us, but one sweet and kind and truly of God, saying unto me: John, it is needful that one should hear these things from me, for I have need of one that will hear.

99. This cross of light is sometimes called the (or a) word by me for your sakes, sometimes mind, sometimes Jesus, sometimes Christ, sometimes door, sometimes a way, sometimes bread, sometimes seed, sometimes resurrection, sometimes Son, sometimes Father, sometimes Spirit, sometimes life, sometimes truth, sometimes faith, sometimes grace. And by these names it is called as toward men: but that which it is in truth, as conceived of in itself and as spoken of unto you (MS. us), it is the marking-off of all things, and the firm uplifting of things fixed out of things unstable, and the harmony of wisdom, and indeed wisdom in harmony [this last clause in the MS. is joined to the next: 'and being wisdom in harmony']. But this is not the cross of wood which thou wilt see when thou goest down hence: neither am I he that is on the cross, whom now thou seest not, but only hearest his (or a) voice. I was reckoned to be that which I am not, not being what I was unto many others: but they will call me (say of me) something else which is vile and not worthy of me.

104. Be ye also persuaded, therefore, beloved, that it is not a man whom I preach unto you to worship, but God unchangeable, God invincible, God higher than all authority and all power, and elder and mightier than all angels and creatures that are named, and all aeons.

You know, if the Gnostics had won the Showdown at Nicea, I honestly don’t think closed high-demand religious groups would have sprung up in the world, after the turn of the fourth century.

(If only the modern Johannites weren’t so enamoured of their wacko wannabe-Catholic rituals, that’s a church I actually think I could get behind.)

If the Romanization/standardization of the diverse and divisive Christian sects into one “denomination” had never occurred, OR if it had occurred under, for instance, Valentinus, the “Christian” religion as we know it today would be a vastly different creature indeed.

I honestly, honestly, cannot see ANY kind of “cult” arising out of a Valentinian, or Sethian, or Platonist, or even Cainite, orthodoxy, if it had “won out” over the other, literalist worldviews. If the Romanization hadn’t happened, there wouldn’t have been a Reformation, and if the Reformation hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t have the thousand and one fragmented closed high-demand religious groups that call themselves (nominally at least) “Christian”. There would have been no place for Armstrongism to rise from, that’s for damned sure!

There might still be a thousand and one schools of thought, yes, but perhaps they might all be able to co-exist peacefully, unlike the present day’s war-torn strife and terror and “one-true-way-isms”.

The odd thing is, I never would have researched gnosticism if I wasn’t an atheist first. Modern Christians would never even consider gnosticism (and definitely NOT religious Gnosticism), because it casts doubt on their bibliomancy and it reverses their resurrection mythos. Still, a gnostic approach is FAR more appealing than the off-putting, “MY way or FRY sucka” attitude evangelicals and fundamentalists take. And mythologizing of the deities and deific figures is not only encouraged, it’s mandatory!

There are WAYS (plural) to get to a similar place that fundamentalists claim that they “are” (but really, baldly, on the face of it, they aren’t, based solely on how they consistently, spectacularly, fail at keeping their one and only “commandment”). Those WAYS (plural) are rich and vast and varied and multiple and individual and personal and personable all at the same time. And have nothing to do with beating people over the head with an allegedly “inerrant” set of scriptures that is, in reality, anything but. There are ways, but they have nothing to do with insisting on ONE way for all, or NO way at all.

You don’t need to believe that a man lived and died long ago at Jerusalem, to know that within yourself which is a spark of conscious will and awareness, that is a reflection and a part of the sparks of conscious will and awareness that are present in every other human being on the planet.

“Blessed Sophia [Gr. "wisdom"], cast forth thy net of woven star-light into the hearts of thy children. Fling it wide, across the oceans of the universe, that it may gather us home to the Aeon of Light.”

Now!

Let any so-called “Christian” who dares, tell me MY “spiritual IQ” is zero.

Go ahead. I’ll wait.

A few years ago, I accompanied the musical “Jekyll and Hyde” at a community theater somewhere in Bumfuck, Iowa. It was a pretty good time all told, and I actually pulled it off quite well. I am indeed a somewhat talented pianist. Modest, too.

Anyways, there is a piece from that musical that is quite… apropos… to this blog and the discussion we’ve been having lately.

Enjoy.

Tonight, a few words about literalism. Fundamentalism, by any other name, smells just as rank.

Literalism. You know the deal. “The canonical Christian scriptures are the Divine Inerrant WOOOOOOOOORD of GAAAAAAWD!” Regardless of the contradictions, the problems, the excuses that have to be made for their intolerance, prejudice, violence and fear-mongering, etcetera. Why? Because the story is taken as literal truth. But this is not a new error for Armstrongists who have switched their theologies to evangelical, but retain the black-or-white Armstrongist mindset; there is precedence for this.

Behold the Day Will Come

(Damn, no inline player in this template, Russ?)

What you have to understand about this hymn (if you can stomach sitting through the entire thing) is that this is what we believed was literally going to happen. Singing “by the vaaalley yooooou shaaaaaall fleeee”, to the last one of us, we probably all pictured the entrance into Petra.

It’s one thing to show you Basil’s horrifying artwork and the text of the Youth Bible Lessons, designed to subjugate us from the beginning; I hope this hymn, of which I hope to have a series of posts here at ISA on, drives home for you the stark reality of what it was that we absolutely, 100% believed was going to happen to us.

Listen to that hymn carefully. Pay close attention to the words. Picture the images in your mind, if you can conceive of such a horrifying Armageddon.

Now imagine that you have pure and absolute faith, that these images are without a doubt exactly what is going to happen, “in your lifetime”.

Do you get it now?

A little birdie has told me that it is the birfday of someone! Yes, indeed, it’s “J” over at the Shadows blog!

The same little birdie even told me how old he is now, and I ain’t telling.

So everyone deluge J with birfday wishes! Quote him an enlightening scripture or two, he seems to like that. Or, if you prefer, send a prayer or two his way. It may not work, but he likes it, and let’s bury the blog hatchet for the day.

Hee hee! He’s gonna HATE me! Hee hee hee!